Be your own Cheerleader, Yeka ukuncika!

The fear of standing alone has resulted in others watching their lives pass them by. Some people don’t even realize their own face in the mirror because they live their lives based on what others think or approve. At what point of your life did you lose your own identity? What was the reason you buried your own and lived your life through the eyes of others? Why are so scared to be yourself? Why are you a chameleon,  becoming like others when you could just be yourself? Has society killed us that much that you would rather please other people than to please yourself? What is it that makes us live behind the mask? Who are these people are trying to impress that much. We have created “THEM” as superior as God, we want to impress “THEM”, we want “THEM” to love us, we want to be seen with “THEM”, we want to be accepted by “THEM”…..for what??


I think the biggest confusion is between standing your grounds and being anti-social. Being anti-social means not fulfilling your social need, you have no friends, you are constantly lonely and sad (giggles). Standing your ground means being a part-time introvert at times,  you don’t need the approval of anyone else for that to be true. It really is a choice, you can either choose to be pushed around to live a life you don’t like but because you want to belong.It’s very easy to find someone to spend time with, but when you have high standards for the people you allow into your life, you’re telling yourself that you’re better off by yourself than with someone who isn’t a great fit for you.

I respect a person who hates me for WHO I AM than the person who loves me for WHAT I AM.

The more time you spend asking yourself for advice, the less you start to need input from others. When you trust yourself to solve problems, you become a much stronger and more confident person, and you take on challenges that you wouldn’t have felt capable of before. Be around people who believes the same philosophy as you do, it becomes easier when you are together. When you are having lunch, your share ideas that builds you, inspire you and motivate you. What are you doing with people who don’t even listen to you nor value your inputs. What are you doing with people who bash you and destroy you? What are you still doing with people who dont inspire you to be a better person. Phaphama ntokazi.I’ve always held the belief that if you aren’t able to take interest in something, it says more about you than whatever it is you find uninteresting. Everywhere you go, make an effort to understand the other people around you.  Always observe what is happening around you, this is your life after all. If being away from certain people is the key to your happiness, give those people the freedom they deserve. When you’re alone, you have an incredible opportunity to think clearly about your life and the direction you want to take it. In a world that’s often filled with noise, you’ve been given quiet. This is a time to reaffirm the path that your life is on.Are you happy and fulfilled? Should you keep doing what you’re doing? Or, are you feeling unsatisfied? Should you change something? These are questions wena can only answer when you take advantage of this gift of quiet.It’s almost impossible to feel good about your life if you don’t have some type of direction for it.The purpose for your life doesn’t need to be complex or earth shattering. It doesn’t have to be big or overwhelming. It only needs to be present. Once it’s there, it gets much easier to make plans you can take action on.Pursue these plans immediately. Don’t put them off. Don’t wait for the perfect opportunity. Perfect never comes, and the longer you wait, the harder it is to get started.

When you do this, two things happen. First, you gain a sense of confidence in yourself because you see that you’re capable of living on your own terms. Second, this confidence brings new and interesting people into your life.Being away from people who puts cracks on you is the best gift ever. If they don’t preach your gospel, let them go. Stop wasting your precious life over something that is not meant for you. Zazi ukuthi uthanda ini, ufanelwe ini.