My conversations with my friends

I have grown to be specific with the people I have conversations with. As one grows older the circle of friends become smaller. There are many reasons that leads to that and one of the reasons is the type of conversations we have when we are together. 

I had an opportunity to ask some of my friends some questions about topics that interests me.

What do you fear the most?

In a friendship? Being sidelined and treated unfairly because of my achievements-Phumelele 

It is sad when friends starts looking at you differently because of your achievements, my philosophy is that when one friend wins; all friends win. That is why I never let my friends achievements gets to me in a way that I am not sure of my value in their lives; but instead I let it motivate me to achieve more like how they do.

Being called a failure and not being able to do enough for my kids. To be honest with you, not being able to do well in life. I also fear that I might never find love again. -Lindo

I think almost every parent fears the same thing not being able to give their children all that they deserve because of life’s challenges. But I believe as long as your child remains your priority whatever you can provide for them, let it be food, shelter and love it will always be enough. I believe in love and I believe love finds those who seek it, it might not be now my friend but I know God is too faithful not to fulfil that for you. Asingalilahli ithemba ntokazi.

I fear living a life without God, a life that is not purposely driven. I fear dying not having made enough difference for the lives of the people around me. Not being the light God has intended me to be, I fear growing old alone, living without love and hope. I fear not being the mother and a friend that my daughter needs.  And lastly I fear waking up to a world without good movies, music and books.-Lungi

I can’t  imagine my life without God. As He is the light of my life, everything that I have is because of His undeserved kindness and love. I think as parents we all want the best for our kids. Kodwa is there a world without music, movies and books hhe?? Out of the 3 though I would go mad without music, it’s heals the soul and connects me to another level of happiness. It’s the rythm of life for me and I get lost in it and sometimes I don’t want it to stop.

Lion and snakes.-Lihle

CATS! I think I can survive anything but just not being around cats. I would probably wet my pants around a lion, since it is a big cat. I have seen snakes but nothing comes closer to cats. The animal is evil and full of itself nje! 

Where do you hope to be in the next 5-10 years from now?

I hope to be working at some government department not for the municipality and staying in Durban or Pietermaritzburg. I wish to be involved in my husband’s business and help him with my professional skills.-Phili

I just don’t see myself working for anyone beside myself in the next coming years. My past working experience  has taught me more about life, people and money. One has grown a thick skin from the shades that are thrown at daily. The hatred, rumors and lies one honestly should be dead by now. I am proud of learning to start my day with prayer with my friends at work ; it has not only helped but has protected us. Lastly if God still wants to take us to government departments or owning a business; I believe He will. Being involved in your husband’s business is a good idea and assisting him in building your family’s empirer can never be a bad idea….Queen and King working together, I like!

I see myself not saving and sweating my butt off to earn a living under unbearable conditions and undue pressure. By the time our property and car hire business would have grown to an extent that sizable income will be flowing in to us to live comfortably without depending on a monthly salary. Touring around the world with my husband and my children, owning a mansion or holiday home. Owing an  NGO for women empowerment and needy children in rural places ( running educational programmed). In all I want to remain humble and being spiritually strong. I want to be physically strong and gym being my daily dose.-Bonga

You seemed to have your life planned way ahead. One thing that people don’t realize  is that such dreams do become realities if you work towards achieving the goals that you set for yourself. It’s all about self-discipline and staying focused on where you are destined to go. I can believe that you have climbed the corporate ladder this high in this short space of time. It’s women like you who become the light for other women out there, passing the message that It’s possible for all women to be at the top. Keep up the good work Ntokazi.

What embarrass you the most and what has been your most embarrassing moment?

I am mostly embarrassed about not getting my facts right before I engage on anything or confronting a situation.-Lungi

 Nothing embarrasses more like when I am walking then I trip and fall…..I just wanna die. When my mum mentions my weaknesses around my friends, I always feel like I am about to literally die.

What do you look up to the most and what qualities do you love in a friend?

A person who I can be free with, not only in fun times but also difficulties one might face. Treat me well and not take advantage of my kindness. Be in sync, angangifeli umona  if something good happens but be supportive.- Phumelele

I love someone who can laugh at the same jokes as me, get crazy with me; that for me that is an indication that we shall get along. Respect is a must, adventurous and trustworthy. Must believe in God as at times we shall be having conversations about God. I pray for my friends and I pray with my friends . And lastly be supportive and be a hustler……I don’t do lazy friends. Oh and be able to handle any situation or scandal pretty damn good. Love yourself, listen we can’t be friends if you don’t love yourself, I mean how are you gonna be able to love me, if you you don’t even love yourself?

I look up to God fearing women, women who are courageous not because they have been through but because they let nothing keep them down and choose to rise above their circumstances. I look up to people who give without expecting anything in return, people who love and respect other people. Must care for other people,  people who push boundaries and never limit themselves.-Lungi

I honestly believe that the reasons why we have remained friends till today is the fact that we have never stop loving and supporting each other. It doesn’t matter how long we haven’t seen each other but when we are together we get along like house on fire. I just love how we love our friendship. From our naughty conversations to our serious conversations the love is always there. 

I love a friend who is honest, ambitious and determined to achieve more in life. Must be supportive and have my back no matter what situation I face.  Someone who motivate me and a good advisor.-Lindo

The benefit of having supportive friends is they can save you from drowning in sorrows and problems. It feels like they carry your soul and they can see you breaking without you even saying a word. I have been particularly blessed with friends who are loving and supportive. I think the minute you get jealous of your friend that is when your friendship goes sour. Communication is the secret behind healthy friendship, it doesn’t matter what’s on your mind….your friends needs to know. Having friends that doesn’t judge you makes friendship extra special. Friends needs to understand we are not married to one another but sisters connected by love. Where there is no love sadly there is no friendship. Love makes you treat your friends well, care and support them. We need to treat our friends right as they are the people who are always there for you in difficult time. I am grateful to still being your friend.

Make sure you surround yourself with friends that motivate you. Friends you can have healthy conversations with. Gossiping about other people shouldn’t be the reason why you have friends. Pray for your friends and pray with your friends.


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